blurry life

just like this picture... i feel like i'm living in my own shadow.
while in the real world, i feel like i'm nothing. fuckin nothing.


it seems like these times is the hardest. everything i see is blurry. but that is life, rite?
i need to start my own step. i need to make my own decision even though i can't even see what kind of things are waiting for me there.

i wish i have ppl or at least someone whom i can trust. but again.. this is life. nobody is care for me instead my own self. they are fake. i have to take care of my own self.

i hate to know i'm still stuck in this place for a long time. i want to walk. i want to run. i want to throw everything. i want to burn every bad side of me. but whenever i look to that bright side, i feel like all the passions and strengths is gone. yeah. i'm too afraid. that's why i can't walk. i can't run. i just grabbed everything in front of me. i've become greedy. and i know it sucks.

i asked this to God, but still not get reply yet. maybe, i'm too disgusting. i'm too arrogant. i should clean up my self first, throwing all sins i did.

nobody likes me. and now this is me, who like to be alone.
burning my self into the fire. sinking my self deep into the ocean.
letting it burn. letting it freeze.